


Those Three Words

by ReticentResolve



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Cutting, Depression, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Mutually Unrequited, One Shot, Oral Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, War, but only kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:36:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17807279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReticentResolve/pseuds/ReticentResolve
Summary: It was at that moment that Ryoma recognized that he was fully, and utterly entranced with Saizo.He was in love.And he didn't even know when it had happened.And he wasn't sure at all how to show it.





	Those Three Words

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanon ages: Ryoma: 28 Saizo: 30

    He had known him for almost a decade at the time, since they both were children. And while their first meeting was not too extraordinary, Saizo's father having brought him forward as his heir and introducing the young lord to his future retainer. They shared little more then an attempted handshake on Ryoma's part, and a perhaps too deep bow from Saizo.

    The second time was when Saizo's training was complete almost 4 years later, at the age of 17, when he was tasked with guarding the slightly younger prince. The task was an infinite source of stress for the young ninja, as he continuously ran through all of the things that could have gone wrong. What if an assassin showed himself? What would he do? And what would happen if he failed? He knew that people were exiled for much lesser crimes.

    And he supposed some of that anxiety and near fear of his lord echoed into their relationship. He would never train with Ryoma out of fear of harming him. Should he be asked, he would insist that he did not think he'd ever be able to harm Lord Ryoma's majestic visage, but there was a part of his young mind that always reminded himself of all the training dummies that easily fell to his well trained arms.

    He would hardly even speak to him. Always kept his eyes downcast. Had someone asked, he would not even be able to tell them the color of his Lord's eyes. He had never actually seen them.

    So Lord Ryoma started to resent him. He was told all these things by his father and uncle. About how a retainer was more then a guard. That they were a lifelong friend and companion. That they were to be the person that he trusted most in life. Even more then them. And here he was with an older, broad shouldered ninja who could not spend more then 10 minutes in the same room as him.

    He complained about him. Loudly. And often times in front of the elder Saizo. He didn't care. He was trying to get rid of him.

    But it all changed on the prince's 15th birthday. When a swordmaster from Mokushu was tasked with returning Ryoma's head on a platter.

    The prince was rather enjoying it. He always had been a fan of attention, and was almost acting as the caterer. Constantly walking about with a huge smile on his newly fuzzy face, and chatting up a storm with any and everyone.

    Saizo was quite the opposite. He was standing in the corner of the room with a dour look on his face and refusing the abundant maidens asking for his hand in the dance that was later to come.

    But looking around, there was a certain suspicion that had him pushing off and following a dark skinned man to the balcony. Where he removed a shuriken with a certain degree of clumsiness.

    That was the first time Saizo felt an amount of confidence and connection to his assigned job. Looking down to the young prince and seeing that bright smile that reached deeply into his brown eyes for the first time.

    So he tackled the strange swordmaster, pushing his midsection into the edge of the balcony and taking his wrist in a vice grip.

    The swordmaster yelled and drew the attention of the nobles below, the shocked faces reflecting a certain degree of ignorance that they all had.

    "Run, Lord Ryoma!" Saizo shouts.

    Ryoma was shocked for a moment by the sheer booming sound of his young retainer's voice. He'd only heard him mutter below his breath. But this shout had such a commading nature that he had never thought he would have. But he quickly broke out of this when the swordmaster shoved Saizo off his back and reaimed the shuriken at him.

    He dove below a table and tried to think where he had left his sword.

    There was a shout and a scream. A soft scuffling sound, and a huge thump and crack. His pure curiosity got the young prince looking over the table he hid under to find his adolescent retainer panting beneath the foreign swordmaster, the shuriken that almost ended his life now buried in the swordmaster's neck.

    Looking at him, he felt a bit of hot shame rush through him. All of the terrible things he had said about him came rushing back. And he knew that Saizo had heard at least some of them. Many days he returned from his father's visit with fresh bruises and scrapes. But now here he was, struggling to stay breathing while also pushing the large foreign man from his chest.

    Ryoma rushed over, ignoring his mother's worried shout and shoving the swordmaster off, pulling Saizo up from his prone position atop a broken table. The red head paused for a moment, stumbling and almost falling even with the princes hand on his shoulder, stabilizing him. "I..." He finally looks up into the princes face. "I apologize for the table, milord."

    Ryoma glances down into his retainer's reddish eyes for a moment disbelievingly before a huge smile breaks across his face, and his loud laughter lightens up the room. His mother soon joins him.

    "You just saved my son's life, and you're worried about a table? We have dozens more. And they do not compare to the safety of those who sit at them."

    After that, things drastically improved for the prince and his retainer. There was a sense of trust that was not there before. And the injuries that Saizo had come out with had only given Ryoma a chance to seemingly make it up to Saizo. He brought meals from the royal table while he was in the infirmary. He helped him to his room the first day he was released, much to Saizo's chagrin, and he was the first one that gave him permission to return to the training grounds, even going so far as to sneak him his shuriken from the garrison.

    He started to understand what his father had meant when he had spoken so highly of his retainers. Something that became even more clear when Hinoka returned with a slit eyed monk helping her slowly to the throne room, fresh bandages still wrapped around her head and leg.

    Shortly after, she inducted him as her second retainer. Getting to know the brown haired monk, he saw something there so very different from how he acted with his own retainer. There was a sense of comraderie and friendship that, even now after 2 years he did not see between him and Saizo.

    It was then that Ryoma did something he had not done before. He commanded Saizo to train with him. He knew it was from the jealousy he felt when he saw his younger siblings laughing and training with their retainers.

    He did not know what to expect when Saizo nodded simply. He knew he had only improved upon himself since the year that had passed from when Ryoma had last seen him in action.

    He knew he had perhaps not given his training the time of day he should have. There was a bit of child like impatience still in him, as his mom would say.

    But he didn't expect his arm to be shoved behind his back with an abrupt crack and a shuriken pressed to his throat, the shorter red haired man's grip almost bruising.

    The amount of confidence the terrified adolescent had gained around him in 2 years was almost astounding. He had gone from not being able to look him in the face to almost commanding him through his training. Although doing so in a passive way.

    "You need to be more aware, Lord Ryoma." He growls. "I am not fully trained, and yet you still fall within seconds."

    Ryoma look back at him. "Then help me along with my training." He says with a large grin.

    Saizo sheathes his shuriken at his belt. "I have not been trained to use a katana, my lord."

    "Then you can learn as well." Ryoma retorts. "Imagine, should you not have a shuriken on hand. A second plan might be of use."

    Saizo took a step back with a contemplative look, before finally agreeing.

    So they started a new training regiment, and the time they spent together was vastly increased. And soon enough, Lady Mikoto was introducing Ryoma to Kagero, a young ninja in training that was looking to impress her parents and was filled with an enthusiasm that was almost strange to Ryoma, who had not really been around a new retainer besides Saizo enough to know if this was normal.

    But she was a good addition. She added something that had not been there before, and neither of them minded it.

    So it was with confidence that Saizo left for his first real mission, confident that he would not be leaving Ryoma without care.

    Kagero was less confident, however. And while nothing went wrong, she did not exactly have an easy time. She was nearly sleepless when the older retainer returned.

    And he returned with a mask. Which Ryoma quickly questioned, but just as quickly dropped. It was not uncommon for ninja to prize their secrecy. And something had convinced him that this was needed. He trusted him to know what he had to do.

    Several months after, Saizo's twin brother, Kaze was assigned to the palace garrisons, as were many trainees. Their reunion was wildly uneventful. The older sibling walked into the garrisons with the proud, chest forward walk he had learned to perform at the castle, Kaze looking up at him with wide delighted eyes that showed clearly the long time they had spent apart.

    But they did not hug, and they did not shake hands. They spoke a bit awkwardly for a few moments before Saizo patted him on the shoulder and told him to join him the next morning for training.

    Kaze did not continue along training with them for long, rather choosing to go along with his fellow trainees.

    But Saizo did not mind. He was not made to be a teacher. He was made to fight.

    Ryoma was 21 when he first asked Saizo to join him in his chambers.

    Saizo at first, did not believe him. He shook his head and told his Lord to stop playing him for a fool before attempting to step past to find his wrist snatched with an almost innapropriate amount of pressure.

    "I am not playing you, Saizo." He says calmly. Something that was quite uncommon for the fiery young lad. "I have not asked anyone but you." He says, making a more bold move and resting his forehead against the shorter man's and resting a hand on his shoulder.

    "You..." Saizo begins before his words fail him.

    "Please." Ryoma answers, knowing that perhaps this was not the romantic type thing that he had wanted so badly despite himself. But there was still the thought that perhaps this would induce that relationship.

    Saizo nods, and the prince quickly leads them to his quarters. One of the few rooms that Saizo had never seen the inside of.

    He would not admit it, but it added something to the situation. Being in an unknown place with no knowledge of escape routes and what could be there was almost exciting in a way.

    Made even more so when Ryoma quickly slips the mask from his face, pauses for a moment, and kisses him carefully on the lips. Something that makes Saizo's face as red as his hair.

    "You...are sure, my lord?" Saizo asks carefully. He did not look at himself as a specifically wantable man. He knew very little about the acts that Ryoma was wanting to engage in.

    "Course." Ryoma chuckles. "It's not as though I can go to just anyone for this."

    Ah. Saizo had heard of some lords requesting these acts of their retainers. So that was all this was about. If this was a part of duties, then he would gladly accept. "Very well."

    So he returns the next kiss with a bit more vigor then he had expected from himself.

    The two young adults very quickly were stripped of their clothing, Ryoma quickly placing a large hand on his retainers behind and pushing their hips together. Earning a quiet exhale from his retainer as he quietly trips them onto his large futon and snatching a small bottle from it's side. Which is when he first touched the red head's not even half masted erection.

    "M...my lord, you do not need to..." Saizo spits out through grit teeth.

    "You're helping me, Saizo. This is the least I can do in return." He chuckles while opening the bottle in his other hand and pumping his fist in a calm way that comes from an experienced virgin palm.

    "Gods." Saizo growls again, reminding himself that this was his lord touching him. Something he rarely did to begin with. And suddenly he finds himself reaching the edge way too quickly, the mere idea of Ryoma in this way quickly bringing all of the sensations to an almost unbearable sensitivity.

    But then there's a firm push at the untouched hole below, and it quickly cancels out the pleasure he had been feeling. There was an immense amount of displeasure, and he almost visibly winced when the slightly slickened finger slipped deeper, Ryoma humming his arousal as his unexperienced finger almost prodded at him.

    And he can't keep the quiet snort of pain in when Ryoma perhaps a bit quickly adds another. But it seems he takes it as a good thing. He had not heard much about this type of intercourse. Just the basics, and didn't have the greatest grasp on his retainer's body and expressions.

    But he continues pumping Saizo's dwindling erection with a firm hand.

    And there was not much more he remembered until Ryoma spoke to him again. "Ready?" He asked excitedly over Saizo, his hips aligned well enough that the tip poked gently against him.

    Which was enough that Saizo turned away, though grunted affirmatively. He was a bit worried. It was not as though they had not seen each other unclothed in the time they had known each other. And he knew Ryoma's body well enough to know that he was not exactly small.

    But it was nothing like he had thought it would be. It felt like someone was grasping him by the skin and tearing him open. He felt as though he could scream. But this was for Lord Ryoma, so he shoved his face into his elbow and breathed heavily into it.

    And Ryoma moaned loudly above him, shoving a staccato thrust into him and tilting his head back. "By the gods, Saizo."

    Saizo remains silent as Ryoma begins moving quickly and firmly. Even as his eyes begin stinging and his breath dampens his elbow.

    It doesn't take very long before his lord is almost yelling out atop him, his grip on Saizo's hips almost becoming painful.

    And as a strange warmth enters him, Saizo can't help but wonder who the hell does this willingly. He would sooner jump off the dining room balcony once more, were he given the option.

    "S...sorry." Ryoma mutters after a few moments, rolling over and taking Saizo's soft member in his hand.

    "It's fine. " Saizo says while sitting up and beginning to dress himself. "Sleep well, Lord, Ryoma."

    Before the prince can answer, his retainer had limped out of the room.

    There seemed, after that, to be an unspoken agreement to never speak of it again. They both came to the conclusion that pretending nothing had happened would be for the best.

    And that was how it continued. It went on as the conflict with Nohr became more prominantly dangerous, and as they both came more into their own, receiving more duties to complete with and without one another.

    It became even more than clear that there was nothing between them when Saizo and Kagero began spending more time together. Ryoma never actually saw them together, did not even see them within five feet of one another. They were ninjas after all, they prized their secrecy above anything else, as was their job. But Ryoma liked to think that he was good at reading people. He could tell.

    And he was not above admitting that there was a part of him that was jealous. He had not asked for Saizo's company for no reason. He was drawn to his retainer in a way that he had not been before. Over the year that passed afterwards, he had had experiences with others, and he knew he had not handled the situation in a way that should be when taking someone like him, who he was certain had not done that before.

    He had been rushed and excited. And had not had the forethought to research what else was needed besides lubricant. He knew it made him seem like he didn't care for the person he was taking. Like he was the average lord taking advantage of the people in his order.

    And he was scared that he had destroyed the relationship he had had with Saizo.

    But Saizo had no such thoughts. He had hardly reflected on that day, just thinking of it as a flight of fancy of his lord. He had no thought of his lord as a distrustful individual with no respect for his retainers personal worth.

    He ignored it.

    Until, a year into their relationship, Kagero asked him to join her in her room.

    "I know." Kagero begins, pressing up against Saizo in a way much too familiar to the way Ryoma had years ago. Only this time, the only pressure was on his chest. "That you don't want to be the one instigating." She says with a smile. "So I asked my friend to cover your watch. Would you like to...stay here for the night."    

    She finishes her statement by pressing her knee into the taller man's crotch, the red haired ninja stiffening in a way that she took as a good sign, a sultry smile coming onto her lips. She didn't know about her partner, as they had not talked about their experience before, but she certainly had enough to get him hot and bothered.

    But Saizo felt nothing. The foreign feeling of her chest on his collarbone as she leaned up to kiss him was disconcerting at the least, and the kiss was akin to pressing a fish to his lips.

    She did not seem to notice. She probably thought of him as a sexually repressed young man. Many ninja seemed to be. Their dedication to their training left very little time for such activities.

    But he felt nothing. Not even as she backed away and parted her kimono from her chest, revealing her cleavage to him with confidence.

    "Come along, remove your gi." She says, sitting on the futon on the floor and waiting with a smile.

    Saizo pauses for a moment. Even when he had been with lord Ryoma, he had not spent much time looking at him, he had gotten straight to the point. Was Kagero an exibitionist?

    He still unties his kimono and pants, the garments falling to the floor with muted thumps. He was praying that Kagero was not expecting him to do to her as lord Ryoma had done to him. With how little pleasure he took from it before, he could not imagine he would care for it on the other side.

    But she gets up onto her knees, and grasps his hips, bringing his flaccid member up to her mouth and placing the tip between her lips.

    Saizo gasps a bit at the warm pressure, for the first time this night feeling the tension beginning to build in his pelvis. Kagero chuckles softly and continues on, her head rising and falling in an even rythm for a minute or so before peeling herself off with a strange moist sound.

    And immediately, any pleasure Saizo had been finding in the actions was gone, leaving especially quickly as she removes her lower garments and sits ready for him on the bed.

    But at her motioning, he still kneels down inbetween her legs. But when she widens her stance and puts her hand in her crotch, Saizo finds his chest tighten in a strange feeling he did not know how to describe. He did not want this. Despite the pain, he could only find himself imagining Ryoma in this moment.

    With his head bowed, he speaks up. "I'm sorry, Kagero. I...I can't do this."

    Kagero looks up at his face in confusion, backing up a bit and looking him over, taking in the confused expression on his face and the lack of erection inbetween his legs once more. And it dawns on her a bit. "I see." She nods a bit knowingly. "Lets just not talk about this, okay?" She pats his shoulder firmly before getting up and redressing.

    They had silently come to the conclusion that they were no longer together, something that almost everyone seemed to notice immediately, even though they had not directly told anyone that they were involved.

    But neither seemed upset by it. In fact, it seemed to bring back their friendship with a sort of awkward vengeance. They seemed to be closer than before, while they were still dealing with the sort of awkwardness of their failed relationship.

    And life seemed to continue on with no problems, until Saizo's 24th birthday. When he received a letter from a servant adressed directly to him from a man he had never met before, with a strange weightiness to it.

    He certainly did not expect what he found when he opened it.

    His father's flayed, pierced ear sitting atop a bloodstained letter. There was no question about it. The piercing in it was given to him directly from King Sumeragi. There was only one ever made.

    His hands trembled as he read the letter.

_Dear Saizo the fifth,_

_May I first say, happy birthday, I have gotten a lovely gift for the aspiring ninja to be this year. Come to my estate, and you will receive your father's head on a pike. We have worked very hard to plan this for you, and would very much love if you could come to join him._

_We will be waiting._

_Signed the prestigious Lord Kotaro_

    He was almost on the verge of tears with the rage that was filling him at this moment. He could not describe the horror at the disrespect that had come onto his father, him, and the long known name of Saizo.

    And he left. He resecured his mask, picked up his shuriken from his drawers and left without a word to anyone.

    "Have you seen Saizo?" Ryoma pauses in the hall to ask his younger sister, who was walking alongside her retainers, Azama and Setsuna. "I've not been able to find him the past few hours, and I'm starting to get worried.

    "No, I don't see much of him these days." Hinoka answers. "Must have been a week ago at least."

    Ryoma twists his mouth a bit, looking fully ready to panic.

    "Perhaps it has something to do with the letter that Kaze received?" Azama offers flippantly.

    Ryoma nods his thanks to the saucy monk and makes his way to Kaze's room, his strides quick and smooth.

    "Lord Ryoma!" Kaze gasps when he opens the door, holding a red stained letter in his hands with a terrified look on his face. "Please, I...I think my father has been murdered."

    Ryoma blinks for a moment before taking the letter Kaze offered from his hands.

    "We need to find Saizo." He says, Kaze blanking for a moment before realizing what that implies, nodding quickly and running out of his room with Lord Ryoma.

    Saizo returned before they could send out a search party, walking into the front hallway with his head hung so low that no one could see his face, his clothes torn and burnt, shuriken hanging dangerously from his hand.

    "Brother!" Kaze shouts, running away from where he had been conversing with Ryoma and Queen Mikoto.

    But he stops when Saizo looks up at him, gasping and stopping completely, eyes wide and concern overlain heavily on his face.

    And that is when Ryoma comes over and gets a good look at his retainer.

    Saizo had a heavy wound all the way down his face, and his right eye was now completely missing anything that had been there before, now nothing but a white orb with a bright red leaking cut through it.

    "Lord Ryoma." He says, bowing down onto his knee with a stumble and refusing to look up. "I have failed to avenge the murder of my father."

    Ryoma blinks once and looks at Saizo with wide eyes. He considered scolding him, but he could already guess the answers he would give to any of his questions. So instead he grasps Saizo by his shoulders and picks him up, Saizo almost fighting for a moment before giving up and allowing it. "I'm taking him to the medical ward." He says to his mother and Kaze.

    After a few moments of being in Ryoma's arms, Ryoma looked down to find Saizo's good eye quickly fluttering closed. "Saizo." He said softly, shaking the ninja's shoulders softly while making sure to keep his grip from the burns he could see through his torn clothing. "We're almost there, please stay awake."

    Saizo looked at him for a brief moment, before speaking. "With all due respect Lord Ryoma..." He pauses for a moment and closes his eyes once more. "Piss off."

    Ryoma stops walking for a moment, stares wide-eyed at his retainer, and laughs. The most hearty full bodied laugh Saizo had ever heard from him, and suddenly starts up again with a lot more bounce in his step. "Seems you're not as bad off as I thought!"

    As the monks and clerics dashed about, working to get Saizo into a more comfortable state, Ryoma could only think about how grateful he was that Saizo had begun to get more comfortable with him. Even the other man cursing him off, which in itself was uncommon, was such an enormous step from where they had been personally even a few months ago.

    Which brought him to wonder about how he felt about both of his retainers. They both were so dedicated to him, and he was so grateful that he had met them. But there was something different when he was around Saizo. Around Kagero, he felt like he was being watched over, and he knew that she took her job very seriously. She was one of the only people he would trust with his life, and he enjoyed the times they were able to sit down and converse. She was a smart and resourceful woman.

    But around Saizo, he felt safe. Completely and utterly protected in every way imaginable. He felt giddy, and happy. Even now, looking at his retainer's bandaged and bloodied face as he lay in the medical ward with the only sound being his rattling breaths, Ryoma found his eyes drawn only to him. The way his face relaxed in his sleep, the small wrinkles were completely gone.

    Ryoma could not help but bring his hand to his retainer's head, slowly brushing a small bit of his bright red hair behind his ear and looking down to him.

    Even the bloody bandage on his face only added to his handsome face. There was some part of him that almost tingled at the thought that Saizo did this out of his and his father's honour. He loved it. It was a beautiful thing to fight for, and Ryoma was delighted by the thought that Saizo would do the same thing for him. Even if it were for a sense of duty.

    And he didn't care to stop himself from kissing him lightly on his forehead before leaving the room.

    But nothing seemed to change. Despite Ryoma's realizations and subsequent confirmations of those realizations. Saizo's scars quickly reddened, raised, and paled. And they did not speak much of it, other than Ryoma's praises of his bravery.

    Until his mother came to him and asked him of marriage.

    Ryoma stilled from where he was sharpening Raijinto, and Saizo quickly excused himself from the room, and Queen Mikoto sat next to him with that kind look on her face and her hands in her lap.

    Ryoma was frozen for a brief moment as he thought of it himself. Just to find that he had not quite thought of it before. He had never imagined his life after being the Prince of Hoshido. So he thought about it. He closed his eyes and thought. He thought of his quarters being shared with someone else. And being able to sleep in a bed with them. To be able to look in someone's eyes and see an affection that he didn't see anywhere else. Not in the ladies of the night that propositioned him, and not even in his siblings or parents.

    But all he could see was Saizo. With his stern gaze, and seemingly permanently glued shut left eye. With something so subtley different that Ryoma almost questioned his own imagination.

    When he opened his eyes, he was met with his mom smiling over at him. She almost looked as if she knew what he had been thinking.

    "Sir Saizo then?" She asks.

    Ryoma blinked once, and suddenly laughed at how well his mother seemed to know him. "What gave me away?"

    "I should like to think I would know either way." Queen Mikoto answers. "But do you recall the time I asked Sir Saizo to retrieve my fallen cup?"

    "I do." Ryoma answered, nodding along with his words.

    "Well." She chukles. "I did not miss your gaze upon his backside."

    At that Ryoma finds a sudden heat engulfing his entire face, which his mother found very mirthful, if her soft chuckles were any indication.

    She quickly returned to a more serious nature, though. "Please know that I do not plan to disregard your feelings in this matter. The choice is entirely yours." She pauses, and smiles at the relieved look on Ryoma's face. "But I should hope you will still bring an heir forth. I should like to see your child. No matter who you decide to have them with."

    Ryoma answered with a strong armed embrace, resting his chin upon his mother's shoulder like he had so many times before.

    He had hoped that this sort of peace would remain for a time yet, but soon after, Takumi found himself with retainers by his side as well. And while he had complained about them in the beginning, Ryoma could very quickly see his friendship blossoming with Hinata and Oboro. And he was happy for him.

    Saizo on the other hand, seemed to have some sort of problem with Oboro. He had never been very vocal about his grievances, but whenever it came to Oboro, he had no problem with complaining about her and her attitude to serving the royal family.

    It was one of the things that Ryoma did not quite understand or agree with. He had never seen the negligant side that Saizo so liked to complain about.

    But he went on, time and time again, many of which were without any prompting. He seemed to go out of his way to find reasons to complain about her presence.

    And it did not take long for Ryoma to find out why, when he passed the hallway that the retainers had their quarters in to hear Saizo and Oboro in a heated argument.

    He had come about halfway through, and so he did not know what exactly got Saizo so riled up, but Oboro had been shouting about something she called a "literal crime of fashion".

    To which Saizo responded with a loud shout that Ryoma had never heard from him before. "Back off, Woman!" He had yelled.

    So Ryoma had decided to confront not Oboro, but rather Takumi, who rather conveniently was sitting by Hinata when he found him.

    "Takumi." He greeted with a wave and a nod to Hinata, who scooched to one side to allow Ryoma to sit next to his brother. "I need to ask you about Oboro."

    Takumi looked over with that suspicious and annoyed look that Ryoma was so used to receiving from him. "What about her? Did she do something wrong?"

    "I'm not quite sure, to be honest." Ryoma answers and taps a finger on his chin once or twice while wondering how exactly to firnulate his words. "But Saizo has had some very strong things to say about her, and I'd like to know what she's been doing to make him feel so about her."

    Hinata nigh giggles from Ryoma's other side and, after receiving a flippant motion from Takumi, proceeds to explain. "She's really into fashion. Her family works in the business, and she's taken to trying to get Saizo to model for her. Since he kept ignoring her, she thought if she gave him some "advice" about how bad his fashion is, he'd consent."

    "She'll get over it." Takumi adds on to the conversation. "She tried with Azama too for a while."

    So Ryoma proceeded to thank them for their time, and returned to his room where he had a few small matters to attend to. He was almost grateful that he had come across this situation though. It had given him another chance to learn about Saizo and his sometimes ridiculous temper.

    The more he saw of it, the more it added to his charm.

    It was at that moment that Ryoma recognized that he was fully, and utterly entranced with Saizo.

    He was in love.

    And he didn't even know when it had happened.

    And he wasn't sure at all how to show it.

    So he did the only thing he knew that would surely make Saizo happy, he gave him more responsibilities.

    He would generally be very against pushing more things onto someone who already was in a position that required nigh constant diligence. But with Kagero also occupying the same position as he, and with the way that Saizo always seems to be rushing about looking for anything that needs to be done, he could only see this as the next course of action.

    And there was a certain amount of pleasure he took in the almost smug look Saizo gave Oboro whenever he passed by her and was able to say that he had no time, and had somewhere else to be.

    It was such a handsome look for his lovely face, that Ryoma wanted so much to see  more often. It brought a soft fuzzy feeling to his chest as he watched his retainer continue down the hallway as Oboro shouted after him that she didn't believe him for one minute.

    But they didn't have to go on an actual mission together that was more important than investigating lost crops or cutting down a small amount of bandits until 5 years later, when his mother informed him of some plans that had somehow been leaked from the Nohrian army that they were prepping a siege on the Bottomless Canyon.

    So Ryoma turned to Saizo, with that look that Saizo knew so very well meant that he was determined to take this into his own hands.

    Through the years of knowing him, Saizo quickly came to realize that Ryoma wore his emotions on his sleeve at all times. There had never been a time when Saizo was unable to tell his thoughts. It was almost a charming little thing about him that only served to strengthen his resolve to protect Ryoma, when it was obvious that his so clear emotions would be manipulated time and time again.

    He didn't want him to be hurt.

    So they set out to the north, bringing with them a score of ninja and samurai who followed them with strong purpose.

    Almost enough so that when they had traveled their planned 15 miles for the day, some insisted that they need not set up camp just yet and wished to continue. But Ryoma himself shut down their over-excited journey, and they began to set up their tents, all of them slowly turning in until there was one man set on watch by the edge of camp, and Ryoma and Saizo sitting by the bonfire they had set in the middle of the camp.

    "You know." Ryoma said, turning to Saizo with a smile and clapping a hand on his shoulder. "I am very glad you accompanied me on this trip.

    Saizo takes a short moment to respond, though does not look unpleased or confused. "I would not leave this to you alone, Lord Ryoma."

    Ryoma continued to hold his hand on Saizo's shoulder for a moment, contemplating, then patted him once more, leaned in, and kissed the side of his mask, where the metal met the fabric.

    "Have a good rest, Saizo." He says, standing and turning to his tent, almost scared of seeing his retainers reaction, after his lackluster and dejected ending of their night together all those years ago.

    Behind him, Saizo thanked the gods that he so often wore his mask now, as it hid the utter cherry his face must have become as he instinctively brushes his fingers against the place Ryoma's lips had been before.

    He will admit, he had gracefully forgotten about the brief rolling in the sheets he and Ryoma shared several years ago. He had refused to think much of it. It was Ryoma's pesky adolescent hormones getting the best of him at a time he wasn't able to find one of those who commonly joined him in his bedroom in the years after. And it wasn't as though a lord sleeping with his retainers was completely new in Hoshido.

    But Ryoma surely did not mean for this to be a reminder of that time. There was a town in Nohr. Saizo was unsure of the name, but it was a common practice over there, when bidding a friend or ally farewell, to kiss their cheek or head.

    He must have heard of it and considered it a habit worth taking up. He had seen his lord kiss the top of Sakura's head when she was upset before.

    But comparing himself to the young lady of Hoshido was not acceptable in any matter. He meant nigh nothing to Ryoma when compared to his little sister. He was not even a speck on the radar.

    And now his own reflections were annoying him to no end, and he felt that heat coming over his face and the tension in him grow.

    So he stood and spoke to the guard at the edge of the camp in a hushed tone. He would say it was so that he did not wake the others, but it was so that Ryoma did not know what he was saying. Which was a terrible breach of trust, and he knew it.

    "I'm going to go on ahead." He says walking past the camps perimeter. The guard looks as though he's going to say something, but remembers his place and only gives a soft affirmative before returning to his alert state from before.

    So he walked, through several hours of the night, until he came to the end of the forest where there was the top of the fortress clearly visible through the dark shroud that had come over the forest shortly after he set out.

    Halfway through, several soldiers joined him, with sly smiles on their faces as they informed him that they had heard every word he said and left to back him up. Much to the perimeter guards behest. And Saizo smiled, even though none of them could see it. Because he was proud of the people that fought for his homeland.

    But then there was a scream that sounded through the trees, and Saizo ran forward, throwing the branches away from him and quickly emerging to find a white haired boy standing above the dead body of a border captain, a purple haired great knight, and a pink haired maid.

    Saizo sprang upon them, along with the guards after quickly formulating a plan of attack.

    Only for the Princes and Princess of Nohr to come up from behind the white haired boy and strike down every one of them.

    It was at that point that Saizo recognized the young boy. He had never met him himself, but Ryoma had spoken of him in certain fits of nostalgia. It was the Prince Corrin.

    And Saizo then realized that he could not allow Ryoma to come here. Prince Corrin had been brainwashed by the cursed Nohrians, he was gone to them. Saizo could tell just from the look in his ridiculous pink eyes. He wanted nothing more for the Nohrians to complete their goal. For the Hoshidans to be wiped from their rightful land.

    At that, the same rage he felt before came back, but he was faced with the edge of the Princess's axe, and the blade of the Prince's sword. So he took a step back, and another. Because he was not fool enough to believe he would be able to take on a man and woman who were almost on par with his lord.

    But he still threatened them with the future arrival of Lord Ryoma as Kagero ran to his side and spoke to him in a quiet tone that was so full of disapproval he almost gagged.

    Then the boy was running away with the purple haired knight, and Saizo was letting out a sigh of relief even as he and Kagero were left facing the royal family of Nohr who all held their weapons at the ready.

    "Saizo." Kagero says, tugging on Saizo's shoulder that Lord Ryoma's hand had been on mere hours before. "We need to flee."

    "I'd suggest listening to her, deary." The Princess adds. "Wouldn't want to mar your pretty face more than it is."

    Then her voice takes on an ominous tone. "Then what would your Lord Ryoma think."

    Saizo ground his teeth together, and his eye got that hard look that unnerved Kagero so much. So she tugged on his shoulder even harder, and spoke even firmer. "Saizo."

    But he shrugs her off and takes back one of his steps from before. He would not stand for this sort of blatant insults against both him and his lord.

    And he unsheathes his shuriken from his thigh and says nothing as he crouches ready, the smaller prince opening his tome and his horse rearing in preparation.

    But then it all goes black as Kagero slams the side of her palm onto his neck, and catches his body before it reaches the ground, giving the royals a nervous look before hoisting the heavy body as high as she can and running back to the trees much more slowly then she would like.

    Leo makes to chase them, only for Camilla to plant her dragon in front of him. "Let's let them go for now hon. They're just two ninja. Besides..."

    She turns to watch the softly swaying trees. "I happen to find him quite adorable."

    Xander scoffs, though his face has a look of fondness as he sheathes his sword. "We need to get going, if they were telling the truth about Prince Ryoma, we won't want to be implicated by being here if he arrives."

    The other two nod and they begin on their way back.

    Ryoma scolded them. He did not do it often, but this time, his face was red, he was almost sweating, and he was screaming loud enough that the half of the soldiers that remained were flinching in response.

    But Saizo sat unmoving on the other side of the bonfire with his hands on his knees and his gaze firmly planted on the ground.

    It was the first time he had lost soldiers on the battlefield. And it had not fully hit him last night, but now he was almost stricken. And Ryoma's words were almost lost on him, he was so distraught.

    And Ryoma seemed to realize once his face got less colored, and the soldiers returned to their packing that they had been doing before, along with their somber grieving.

    He sighed loudly, but walked over, catching a slight glimpse of the yellow indication of a forming bruise on the back of his neck. He sat down next to Saizo, who instantly stood and walked away saying simply. "I will pack our tents, Lord Ryoma."

    Watching his retreating, slumped shape, Ryoma was almost frightened. He still stood by the fact that Saizo had been foolish and in the wrong. But he did not want to be upset with him. His own voice, and how he had been addressing him, how much power he had over him scared him.

    But it certainly wouldn't get any better with Ryoma sulking about. Saizo was the type to hold grudges and would often get more depressed the more people around him acted disdainfully. It had happened before, some short time after Saizo's father had died, when his scars were still fresh. The people around him were in mourning over his father, all except for Ryoma, who had only met the man 3 times and very quickly rebounded from his upset. Around him, Saizo seemed almost normal.

    But Mikoto and Ryoma insisted on giving him and Kaze a short leave, with the suggestion from Ryoma that he come and accompany them to the fall festival that was taking place soon. But upon arriving, he found Kaze with a weak smile on his face, completely ready and Saizo soon joining them, looking pale and slightly disheveled.

    It wasn't exactly uncommon that a ninja wouldn't be the best with dealing with the feelings that came with a relative passing away. But he was nervous seeing Saizo specifically like this, especially since, Kaze was taking it so seemingly well.

    He just tried to be cheerful and involve them in whatever it was they passed by. He insisted on paying for their food and the hairband that Kaze had been eyeing. But Saizo stood to the side and watched. Ryoma could see that he was pleased to see his brother enjoying himself despite the situation, but there was something about him that was so concerning to Ryoma.

    One thing being that he had a limp. Maybe it could be because of the fight he had with his father's killers, but he had been told of all of his injuries, and his legs were untouched.

    So after their day out, and when Kaze went to his room, Ryoma turned to Saizo, and asked to see his legs. Saizo quickly gave him that confused look as Ryoma realized that what he had said was a bit strange. Ryoma reiterated himself, Saizo paused. They followed after Kaze and left for Saizo's room, where he waited once more before dropping his pants and turning away from Ryoma. It wasn't so strange, considering what they had done before, but what was unnerving was the angry red line that stood out against his previously unmarred thigh.

    It was almost the thickness of Ryoma's small finger, and ran from the side of his glut to the middle of his thigh, and was still uncovered, the blood dried and rubbed raw from the loose pants he had worn through the day.

    Ryoma said nothing, and Saizo had yet to look at him. The prince wordlessly walked over, and embraced his retainer firmly even as he tensed in his arms. "Please never do that again."

    They had still never spoken of it, and Saizo had never repeated his actions, but Ryoma still had never shaked the suspicion that without his father there, and with the way that Saizo still thought of his failure in his mission, that Saizo had taken it upon him to discipline himself as his father had. Albeit with a different tool.

    So Ryoma stood from his spot by the dwindling fire, and turned to the soldiers who were finishing the packing with as positive a look as he can manage.

    "Come along then, we have a capital to return to."

    Upon their return, Ryoma learned of a letter sent to Mikoto from the daughter of the leader of the flame tribe. A letter that claimed she and Kaze were now in possession of the kidnapped Prince Corrin. Saizo proceeded to approach Ryoma as his lord approached the dining room the next day with his eyes bright and a new bounce in his step.

    "My lord I... I have something I need to tell you." He says, once again refusing to meet his gaze. "That I should have told you the moment I returned from the Bottomless Canyon."

    Ryoma was truly and completely confused, crossing his arms and cocking his head. "Yes Saizo, of course, but please look up."

    Saizo reluctantly complied. "Prince Corrin..." That changes the tone immediately, as Ryoma tenses up. "He was at the Bottomless Canyon. He had been leading the charge before the arrival of the royal siblings."

    Ryoma says nothing for a very long minute. He didn't disbelieve Saizo. He was just...having trouble with it. He liked to think that no matter the strength of their indoctrination, that Corrin would still not betray them so. "I will speak to him about this when he returns, Saizo."

    Saizo nods, almost tempted to say something about Ryoma refusing to call Corrin's arrival anything other than his "return", but quickly silenced his own thoughts before they qrested themselves from his mouth.

    "I wish you luck, Lord Ryoma." Saizo ends with a too deep bow, Ryoma nodding and turning back to the dining room with a more somber air about him.

* * *

 

    Corrin was a dragon. He now wielded the Yato, and he betrayed Hoshido, just as Saizo had been fearing. The leaving of Corrin had nigh shattered Ryoma. The prince had a dark air to him where he had previously been light, and he had a permanent scowl to him.

    Saizo had voiced his displeasure with Corrin. How he thought Corrin was not worthy of the Hoshidan throne. Not to Ryoma, but to Azama, after their training in the barracks. He had no way of knowing, but Saizo was certain that Ryoma had heard, because shortly after, within the next day or two, Ryoma had coldly told him that he was going to be assigned to For Jinya for an unknown amount of time.

    He left without saying another word to lord Ryoma, and set out the next morning to the fort, where he was greeted at noon by a somber Yukimura and Orochi who looked very confused about his presence. He answered all of their questions with nothing but vague and curt replies. They rather quickly gave up.

    Within the week, Saizo was coming in contact with Prince Corrin once more. He was the first one who heard the warning trumpet from the guard on the tower. The first one that was found by the messenger who informed him Corrin and his entourage were approaching rapidly.

    He stood with Yukimura and Oboro as they readied the soldiers, who reluctantly took up arms against their former prince.

    But the rag tag group cut through their meticulously planned strategy like hot butter, and Saizo was soon face to face with the white haired prince, who asked if there was any way they could avoid this, as though he was not the invader in this situation. Like he was the one who was not injuring innocent Hoshidan soldiers.

    It enraged Saizo to no end, and he found his actions further reflecting this. His form was off, he was rapidly attacking and just attempting to deal as much damage as he could, as though that would berid him of his rage.

    But he just quickly found the pink haired woman throwing a dagger at him, which he dodged, but soon found himself nigh falling upon the blade of the waiting prince, who turned to find Yukimura knocked from his puppet by the purple haired knight.

    And the prince was begging them like the fool he was. Begging them to join him in his betrayal.

    Saizo stopped seeing in that moment, he stopped hearing the words that Yukimura was saying, and he stood up from where he had been shedding blood on the marble floor. "There is no other way..." The purple haired knight turns and points his lance at him, but Saizo ignores him. What they did to his body now didn't matter anymore. "I must sacrifice my life to rid our land of the Nohrian fiends."

    At that, the prince turns and looks at him with wide horrified eyes as the familiar flames Saizo had been trained to use engulf his weapons and forearms. And he reaches to where the explosives he always carries sit on his belt. He stands as proudly as he can with the wound on his side, and yells to the roof high above his head as his face goes red with his rage. "I'll show you what true dedication and loyalty mean!"

    "Get back!" The knight yells, riding quickly to push Corrin and the pink haired maid back. "Get back!" He shouts. "He intends to sacrifice himself in attacking us!"

    And then the fool of a prince begs him again to stop. But it only makes Saizo grit his teeth. Did they think him an idiot?! "I believe in Hoshido." He growls as the flames grow. The larger they got, the larger the explosion would be when he threw the pouch of flammable powder. "Even if I must give my life, I will stop you."

    And then Kaze is running in from the hallway littered with the groaning guards that were earlier so healthy and happy. And he's shouting about how he's wrong. Because that seems to be all anyone seems to think.

    "Why are you interfering?" He asks, though it sounds more like a statement, bowing his head and turning away from his little brother. He would not set it off while he was in the room. And he knew it. "These people deserve their fate. They've turned against Hoshido."

    And then he goes on, about how he trusts Corrin so much, and how he saved Kaze's life. How there must be a reason, and how Saizo should let them explain. How he shouldn't do this.

    He's so sick of being told shoulds. And souldn'ts. But his little brother is begging him, with those same eyes he would have when he was shyly asking if he could have Saizo's dessert for the night, since he was training and shouldn't be eating sweets anyway.

    And it quells Saizo's anger. And that annoys him. But he still snuffs out the flames with a growl, and carefully holds his mildly burnt arms. Kaze thanks him.

    "This doesn't mean I trust him." Saizo interrupts so quickly he almost cuts Kaze off. "But I will listen to what he has to say."

    Then Corrin is talking about an invisible enemy. About Queen Mikoto's death, about King Garon, and refusing to say anymore. Stating a reason that he cannot speak of.

    "Do you thik us fools?" Saizo growls once more.

    "No, I don't think that at all." Corrin frantically answers, glancing between Saizo and Yukimura nervously. "I just...I'm sorry, but I can't say more."

    And the ridiculous look on his face is so similar to the look Ryoma would get when he used to get caught pulling pranks on the guards with Takumi, the furrowed brow and wide eyes, lips pressed together nervously.

    "Well then..." Yukimura adds on, face blank and almost scolding. "It seems this was a waste of our time. I've heard enough. Away with you."

    Saizo had never been as relieved as he was seeing Corrin and his three companions figures disappear over the horizen.

    Alongside all of the other injuries, Saizo's were half healed to keep from using their entire supply of staves. He rested the night, and in the morning, spoke with Yukimura and Orochi who agreed he was to return to the capital to inform the royal family about this happening.

    It was odd being back so quickly. Normally his missions would take much longer, and returning would leave him with an almost content feeling. But this time, he was almost nervous.

    Ryoma's reaction the last time he had spoken with him about Corrin had not been good. And this was not exactly good news he was bringing with him.

    But he did not even see Ryoma when he returned. He didn't know where he was, and he didn't bother to find him when he encountered Hinoka in the throne room. He reported to her just as he would to Ryoma, and she took it much better than he had been afraid Ryoma would. She had thanked him for his time, and informed him that he was to travel back to the east where they were setting up a new border fortress, and wanted him to assist in the fortifications. And letting him know he was to get leave from the medical ward before departing.

    After being healed of the rest of his wounds, Saizo found himself on the same road for the third time in a week. It being so familiar at this point, he found himself contemplating much more than he normally did. He was not an overly deep individual. He let his feelings govern what he did and didn't do. He trusted his gut above all.

    But what was his gut telling him now? It was hard to make out, with the way Ryoma had been so upset lately, he obviously believed in Corrin very much. Or at least he did. It seemed to be gone now, and that was likely what was making him so upset and dejected. What was making him want to berid himself of Saizo, as he had been the one to inform him of the original betrayal.

    It was almost hurtful. He didn't know why. He trusted his lord above anything else. Dare he say, he even...loved him to a certain degree. And with this happening so...abruptly, he was finding himself so upset by it he wasn't sure what to do.

    But there was one thing that was coming more and more into the light.

    And that was the strength of Corrin's character.

    While Saizo himself did not care for him as an individual, he rarely ever did off the bat. And he was beginning to question the betrayal he had previously been so sure of.

    And that frightened him above anything else.

    He didn't know what was going to happen.

    Then, upon his arrival at the slowly growing fortress, he found a messenger waiting for him with a scroll signed by Prince Ryoma. The messenger explained he had been sent from an encampment to the south with word of Kagero's capture by Mokushujin ninjas. And that he was to remain at the fortress and continue with his task.

    With that, Saizo was left with a terrified realization. That he could lose Kagero at this point. That she was in the same hands of the men who murdered his father.

    "I am leaving for Mokushu." He answers the messenger, turning around quickly and ignoring the exhaustion brought on by walking about to country as much as he had the past few days.

    The messenger shouts after him, tries to stop him. But Saizo ignores him. Even when the messenger follows him for a mile, trying to explain that he couldn't return to lord Ryoma with this news.

    Eventually he gave up, left for the fortress with a nervous gait, unsure of what he was going to do when he returned to the encampment tomorrow.

    Then news came the next morning, that Saizo had sent up a smoke signal that soon disappeared, and when a search party set out the next morning after hearing nothing back from the ninja, they found no one besides the dead body of a Mokushujin ninja surrounded by shrubbery.

    So the messenger returned to the encampment, all the time wondering what the hell he was going to say.

    When he finally came face to face with the prince once more, he bowed his head and simply said. "Lord Ryoma, we've lost contect with Sir Saizo in the forests of Mokushu."

    Ryoma stood from where he was sitting, said nothing, and walked out of the encampment. He returned before nightfall and informed them he was going to return to the capital.

    Ryoma thought Saizo died. He thought he had been captured by Mokushu, and cut down on the spot. They didn't exactly have a good past with the Saizo family after all.

    He thought he was never going to see him again.

    But then Ryoma led the Hoshidan forces into Cyrkensia to repel the Nohrian forces that were ravaging it.

    Saizo was there, standing on the third side of the battlefield Ryoma had not anticipated, standing next to Corrin and Kaze, with a dozen or more soldiers standing resolutely behind them.

    But he did not move to join Ryoma, and he did not move to attack Xander. He fought the Hoshidan forces alongside Corrin, who commanded his soldiers with a strong voice he had never heard from him before. Kaze moved to command the soldiers that were sent to battle the Nohrian forces, and they all fell. The Nohrians and the Hoshidans alike. Ryoma made no contact with Saizo, but his gaze remained on him the entire time Corrin was speaking to Xander.

    Saizo had an arrow shaft sticking from his shoulder, but was otherwise no worse for wear. His armour was more elaborate and bulky then it had been before, and he had not only his shuriken on him, but a katana by his side. He held Ryoma's gaze. With a look that no matter how he tried, the prince could not place.

    But they did not speak. Ryoma left that same day without a single word to his retainer.

    And he tried his best to not be upset about it. He knew Saizo. He'd known him for years. He must have a reason, because otherwise he would never betray him. Because Ryoma knew him. He loved him.  
  
    But did Saizo?

* * *

 

    Ryoma had joined them. Saizo knew he would. There was an unbreakable trust between Corrin and Ryoma despite them hardly speaking when they had seen one another.

    However, that trust didn't seem to extend to the two of them. Kagero rather easily fell back into her place as a retainer, but Saizo couldn't seem to bring himself to look lord Ryoma in the eyes once more. That too familiar feeling of shame and nervousness ran through him just like he was a child once more.

    And Ryoma seemed to play into it as well, almost refusing to look at him, and when he did, it was with a strange unplacable look on his face.

    It scared Saizo. Did he manage to destroy his relationship with his lord by disrespecting and refusing to follow his orders? He had feared the reparations of such for a long time while he was getting introduced into Corrin's army.

    But then he got to know the young Prince Corrin, and he came to actually...like him. He would never say anything to the effect, but somehow Corrin had so quickly earned his respect and friendship. It was almost shocking.

    And then it brought up the question of why the hell he still couldn't treat Ryoma with the same...almost friendly mannerisms as he used around Corrin and a steadily growing amount of the people who had joined the army.

    It was a question that plagued him for what seemed to be an incredibly long time, but was more just the week they took to allow the troops to recover and replenish their storage room.

    Then, as he was trying to discreetly avoid his lord, he subsequently brushed against Prince Xander as he was staring at the mess hall.

    The Prince turned to him with those skeptical dark eyes of his, and then spoke. "Ah, you are Saizo, correct? Laslow has told me about you."

    Ah, yes. Laslow. Saizo had had several unfavourable experiences with the man before he suddenly realized the man had somehow become his closest friend. "Nothing too demeaning, I should hope."

    He doesn't laugh, but those stern eyes soften just the slightest amount that Saizo barely catches. "Not to my knowledge, no."

    Saizo doesn't know why, but he pauses from his path to gods know where, and stands next to the Nohrian, and looks to the mess hall.

    Xander glances at him once, then continues in silence.

    The prince had just arrived the same time Ryoma had, was he looking for something? Saizo had never thought he would be conversing in a comfortable or reasonable way with any Nohrians, and yet here he was, looking to Xander with his one eye without even the beginnings of a frown on his face. "Are you lost?"

    Xander does not look down from the building. "No I..." He pauses to scratch the back of his neck. A nervous tick? "I was assigned to prepare the meal for today, but...I was not often allowed in the castle's kitchens."

    Saizo nods more to himself in agreement. He had had the same issue on his first few excerts outside of the castle. Another glance at the Prince's unamused, almost worried face and he speaks again. "I don't know many Nohrian recipes..."

    "..." Xander is quiet for a moment as well, before responding once more, looking much more amused. "Why Saizo, one might assume you are offering your help when you talk like that."

    Saizo crosses his arms and looks away. "One might not necessarily be wrong."

    Xander starts for the mess hall, and Saizo follows.

    "Do not take this the wrong way." Saizo adds on once they open the doors. "I have finished my rounds for the day, and don't want to waste my time staring into space."

    So they begin their cooking, Xander being much more agreeable than expected for a man who had days ago been pointing his sword in Saizo's direction. Perhaps Laslow really had said something to convince the prince of his worth.

    Then there came the issue of the difference in Nohrian and Hoshidan cuisines. Saizo had set to making noodles on a counter, while Xander had began the only thing he knew a recipe for. A Nohrian staple called bread that Saizo had not had the chance to taste before.

    And after that, they realized they had made two appetizers and nothing of actual sustenance.

    They then started on more foods, perhaps a bit too much with a bit too much spice. And they spoke. In a friendly manner. About their training (which both were very vague about), some of their plans for after the war, and other existential things they both had not been expecting to get into.

    Saizo almost found himself wishing Xander had been born a Hoshidan. Perhaps they could have been close.

    Suddenly, just as the room was filling with the eager soldiers that filled their ranks, Xander coughed loudly into his hand and turned away from the boiling pot of broth. But he still calmly speaks. "That's...very spicy."

    Saizo shrugs. He had gotten that complaint from Kaze more times than he could count.

    It was how he liked it.

    If they didn't, they could just eat that bread. It was certainly bland enough.

    Then Ryoma came in and gave Saizo the most concerned look he had ever recieved before walking up to get his portion. "Saizo."

    "Lord Ryoma." Saizo answers, holding his gaze almost determindly. He had not seen him since he had gotten news of his joining. He was a coward, really. He didn't want to be confronted about his not following orders. "It's nice to see you again."

    Ryoma laughs then. That full bold laugh that always brought a soft feeling to Saizo's chest. "And you as well." As he takes his large portions, he continues speaking. "I should like to speak to you later, may I stop by your quarters?"

    "Of course." Saizo answers with a bow. "You do not need my permission."

    As Ryoma walks away, Xander looks on with a knowing look befitting of his status.

    They cleaned and shut down the mess hall, shooing out Odin who had been reciting some type of soliluqy next to an irate looking Niles.

    Then Saizo reached his quarters, and met the gaze of Ryoma, who was leaning against the wall.

    He didn't get the time to say anything before Ryoma was embracing him once more, his warm arms wrapped so hard around him it nearly hurt. Neither said anything for an awkward few minutes before Ryoma spoke. "I thought you died."

    And then a new layer of guilt appeared as Ryoma buried his face into Saizo's shoulder, seemingly determined to never let go.

    Very slowly, Saizo raises his arms, and awkwardly grips the taller man's shoulders. It was an understatement to say that Saizo was not an experienced hugger. And he felt like that certainly came across. But he didn't quite care at the moment.

    Then Ryoma brought his head up, pulled down his retainers mask, and pressed his lips to Saizo's. And all of his mental faculties seemed to be wiped out for a moment. And before he could think it through, he was leaning up a bit and trying to press harder up against his charge.

    It was everything he ever wanted. But never admitted that he did.

    When Ryoma pulled away, he did so with such an adoring look on his face that Saizo was almost confused. His deep brown eyes seemed to stare directly into his soul and find something in it that Saizo himself didn't see.

    Then he was embraced again. And Ryoma said the three words that made the world seem to pause around them.

    And Saizo repeated them after him.

    They slept together once more that night. With Ryoma pausing them to make a mad dash back to his room to grab something he just called 'lube'. Saizo was unfamiliar with it.

    He returned red faced and with a tent in his pants he was vaguely trying to hide before softly steering them towards the bed.

    And Saizo tensed. He wanted this. He told himself over and over. His first experience was not a representative of how this time would be either.

    Then Ryoma spoke, one eye slightly wincing and an arm behind his back. "You don't like bottoming, do you? When we did before, you didn't stay hard."

    That blush Ryoma loves appears again, where Saizo's face and hair seem to almost meld. He doesn't answer, it seemed Ryoma already knew.

    Ryoma chuckled again, and Saizo suddenly realized what Ryoma's hand behind his back was doing. He was honored. Beyond anything else, he was so happy that Ryoma was willing to do something like this for him. He knew for a few short years, Prince Ryoma was quite promiscuous, so he assumed this was not the first time he had done this, but it was meaningful nonetheless.

    So he brought a hand down, to where Ryoma was straddling his hips and gently ran a hand up his cock that stood proud against his abdomen. Immediately, the swordsmaster sucked a breath in through grit teeth, tossing his head back and looking as though he'd cum just from that. Saizo nigh felt the same. There was nothing put pressure upon his lower body, and yet he almost felt near the edge.

    Quickly, Ryoma moved Saizo's hand off of his crotch, and stood for a short moment to remove Saizo's undergarments for him. Saizo stood up as well though, and lightly pushed a hand to Ryoma's chest. "Please lie down, Lord Ryoma." He says in a husky voice even he himself had never heard.

    And as Ryoma quickly complied with a wide grin on his face, Saizo wondered what made this encounter so different from his one with Kagero those many years ago. Even though he was in the same exact position as before, with Ryoma's thighs resting softly atop his own as his tip pressed to his lords carelessly prepped entrance.

    Was it the cock standing where Kagero had had none? Was it simply the entrance they were using? Or was it because it was Ryoma that he felt this was somehow so much more attractive?

    Then Ryoma pushes back, with an almost knowing smirk, and Saizo begins to move forward, trying desperately to go as slowly as he possibly could because he could still so clearly recall how much it had pained him before.

    But Ryoma pushes him to go faster, each time he slows to try and give Ryoma more time to adjust or anything of the like, he just pushes Saizo more, at one point even lays his hands on his buttocks and attempts to force him faster with his own hands.

    Saizo shoves them off and decides to comply, pushing in as hard as he could once, to be met with an almost explosive moan from Ryoma underneath him.

    Briefly, Saizo is concerned and pauses once more, wrapping a hand over Ryoma's lips and leaning as far up as he can, not quite able to reach the taller man's ear, but still whispering to him in the husky voice that had given him shivers before. "Be mindful of the others, Lord Ryoma, I should not like for them to see you like this."

    And they continue their act, going harder than before, faster than before, and much more silent than before, now that Ryoma is effectively quieted by Saizo's hand, the only noises coming out being muffle grunts and moans.

    He was close. Very much so. Carefully, he reaches up, and tugs on Saizo's wrist, who quickly removes it, but does not stop his motions.

    "I'll be quiet." Ryoma promises, guiding Saizo's shaky hand down to his cock, Saizo quickly going to work with his wonderful calloused hands.

    Ryoma keeps his promise, up until he tenses up underneath his retainer and arches his back hard into the bed, Letting loose a single shout as his orgasm strikes through him as though he had been slapped across the face, Saizo's hand quickly coming back up to his mouth and beginning to shush him only for it to come out as a hiss as he twitches violently enough that he accidentally head-butts Ryoma's shoulder.

    Any noise quickly fades into their heavy breathing.

    Ryoma looks down to the disheveled head of red hair, and softly brushes it back, both of Saizo's eyes looking up to him.

    Seeing the white scar slipping over his now blind eye, Ryoma is once again struck with a flash of emotion. He leans down, and kisses him once more, Saizo grunting and returning it in kind.

    And he repeats those three words.

    As does Ryoma in kind.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N
> 
> OH MY GOD! I started this 8 months ago. 8 MONTHS! Then I forgot about it and wrote more for like, a straight week and accidentally stayed up until 4am twice while I was sick. Yay.
> 
> I think it got a bit out of hand. 
> 
> The best part is, I actually had meant to go further, but thought that I had to cut it off somewhere, you know?


End file.
